Oh! to be in England: H.E. Bates

`Christening? We never said nothing about no christening, Ma, did we?`

And so with the appearance of a letter announcing the imminent arrival of Madame Dupont, Pop and Ma Larkin learn that little Oscar and Blenheim - Charley and Mariette`s new boy - are to be christened.

In fact, once Mr Candy - who will be officiating (much to raven-haired Primrose`s delight) - learns that Pop and Ma have neglected the entire Larkin brood, the whole family seems set for a dunking!

Pop, who needs no excuse to open a few bottles of Dragon`s Blood and host the perfick party, rushes out and buys a fun fair to celebrate.

But there are one or two gatecrashers even Pop hadn`t counted on turning up . . .